“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”

― Frank Herbert

Monday, November 18, 2013

Jumping through hoops.

It's actually one in the morning, but I am still thinking of this as Sunday night. There is a massive storm passing through and until about an hour ago I was up in the third floor study watching it . There are two large skylight windows up there, and a large plate glass window that takes up most of one wall.  The views of the mountains are great, and the rain beating on the roof can best be heard there.

Then about an hour ago, my son calle. He said he had a text message on his cell phone from my daughter saying she needed to go to the doctor and wanted him to drive. He said it was from 10:30.  I tried to call my daughter, and got her voice mail. I called her boyfriend, and got his voice mail. I called the hospital she goes to, and they said she had not checked in.

She has had a number of  experiences where she just faints and collapses on the floor. I called my son back and told him to get in his car and drive over there,  it's only a few minutes away from the apartment.

Then I called my wife and woke her up. She reminded me that my daughter had been to the clinic this morning and asked me if we had checked the time on the message. I called my son, and it was from this morning. He and I both missed the time issue because we figured she was having another one of her blood pressure drops.

Sometimes I want them both to just move back home so I can control things better.  It's hard being on the far end of a  long communications link trying to figure out what's going on.  I am a helicopter parent, always hovering over their heads, I guess.

At least it ended well. I was about to the point where I figured we had another major daughter disaster on our hands.

22 comments:

  1. I'm glad it wasn't a late night emergency but I do hope she was OK after her morning appointment.

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    1. She is still sick at home, but at least not in the hospital. We have addressed the communications issues and that won't happen again. Turns out, she lost her home charger for her cell, so she left her phone in the car charging off the car battery. Her boyfriend turned off his phone when he went to bed. This kind of fiasco won't happen again.

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  2. Harry I hear you. I still have my oldest son in Florida. I worry about him as much as the ones still under my roof. If we didn't worry about our kids we wouldn't be good parents.

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    1. If they are not home, it's more worrisome because you don't really know how they are doing. One reason I don't mind my wife going up to stay with them over the holidays and summer vacation is that we know what their actual situation is from first hand observation with her on the ground there.

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  3. So everything is OK now though right?

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    1. Well, it's the thing we have to deal with. She is sick alot, so she misses work. Then she tries to make it up by workiing longer shifts, and that makes her sick. She shouldn't be working at all, to be honest. Her mother and I supply the defficiencies that this cycle causes but she wants to be independent. At some point she is going to have to realize that there are limitations to what she can do. She isn't strong physically, and never will be.

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    2. my child has a chronic illness also. she is taking free university courses from coursera.com. she hopes to find something she can do from home, maybe with computer assistance.
      my brother and his wife do medical billing from home for a hospital system.
      there is a set number of hours required and if they want to do something special they work over time as they wish. then they can call their time their own.
      if you like it, it is well paid and really saves wear and tear on the car, the gasoline bill, and the nerves.
      you make your own schedule and can work in your slippers if you want. when it snows and blows you are grateful not to be out in it. just a thought for your girl's future.
      deb h.

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    3. My daughter wants to be a vet tech. I have tried to convince her that something home based might be more practical but at this stage she is still determined on it. I appreciate your comment and will work that possibility into a conversation with her. You never know until you try.

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  4. Replies
    1. Sol, she's ok for right now. But she has Ehlers Danlos syndrome, which is caused by both her parents having just the right genes to inflict that on her. I have never won anything in my life, but I bet the odds on that which were millions to one.

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  5. Marry her off...that way the husband can take over the heavy lifting from you.

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    1. She has a boyfriend , and I guess he is a decent man. But we have nothing in common at all. He does try to take good care of her but they both work like dogs to make ends meet. She needs to marry a rich guy. :-(

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  6. It's hard, wanting to help but can't. Kids move along and we deal with it.

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    1. I intrude when I have to. I'm all for being independent, but I can still handle logistics and things that can be handled, so they don't have to worry with it all. What drives me mad is the things I can't take care of. You are quite right, but I am a hyperintensive Class A type who has a hard time with not being able to fix something.

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  7. We never stop worrying about our kids, no matter how old they get or how far away they live. Hope your daughter is feeling better now x

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    1. No, we never do. I'll still be pestering them when I'm 85, I guess. She's still sick but she went to the doctor and he told her not to go back to work til next week at the earliest. She needs to stay home, rest and get stronger. We've been down this road many, many times before. The difference is that in Canada it didn't cost us an arm and leg for doctors, and here it does.

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  8. oh Harry - i am so sorry that you were worried sick about your daughter - and i know that you were! and feeling helpless and not knowing what to do! i imagine you went out to your truck several times thinking to drive up there to "fix everything" for your kids. we don't have any kids but since moving here, we feel that all of the kids here are ours...and when the call goes out that something has happened to someone's kids, we are wound and uptight and don't know what to do with ourselves until we hear that the kids are ok!

    i am glad that she has her brother so near by! i would tell you not to worry, she has her boyfriend and brother close by for help...but that would be a waste of words. i know how much you care for your kids...and that is a really beautiful thing!

    your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Kymber,you and J should consider children. You would be great parents. I just keep plugging away with mine. They are great kids and we have never had any trouble with them. Health issues like this just go with the territory.

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  9. I would've been freaked out too. I'm glad nothing big was amiss. I hope she starts feeling better.

    I schedule all my posts for between five and six. They post automatically. However I am a morning person and am usually up early anyhow.

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    1. I didn't think you could possibly be up that early, but then I knew you were a morning person. I'm not a morning person, I just have trouble sleeping. >;(

      I talked to her today and she still can't go to work and sounds sick, but she said she felt better.

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  10. How worrying for you Harry. It doesn't matter how old they are we still want to protect them, that's our job :)

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    1. Tania, it was a big goat rope. If my wife hadn't realized that the message referred to a morning event and wasn't from that night, I'd have had the police breaking down their door because I would have thought she was laying on the floor unconscious. I have all this elaborate communications set up with them, including cell phones, land lines and fax machines as well as special email accounts that are only for communications between them and us. But that night I might as well have been sending smoke signals for all the good any of it did me.

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