“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”

― Frank Herbert

Thursday, September 17, 2015

The Tale of Captain Crunch.

Hey Harry,

(captaincrunch)

Okay here's the story.....

the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

There is a rent house next door to me. The house is owned by 'psychochick' who rents it out.
The family that is living in the rent house are good people. Dad is a delivery driver. Mom is a bank teller and they have two very young kids.
Psychochick was renting another house and now she says she has to move because her landlord died (I wonder why)
Now she is evicting the family living in her rent house because she wants the house back.
Psychochick was making false accusations saying the dad was dealing in narcotics and doing other unsavory things which is total bullshit in order to have a legal eviction.

it gets better. Psychochick says I contacted her about dads drug dealing????

well 'hell that's news to me. I don't even have Psychochick's freaking phone number, nor do I want it. She is the type of woman that Dads warn their sons to stay away from.

(captaincrunch) got dragged into this f**cking fight!

(captaincrunch) is not happy!

(captaincrunch) is also friends with Dad and Mom next door (Psychochick does not know this)

Now tomorrow at 3:00 PM, STT (South Texas Time) the eviction will be carried out.
Dad and Mom secured a lawyer who has been active on it the past few days (the lease is not up until October 31) Psychochick does not know about the lawyer either.

Now some interesting background on Psychochick. The nut job works for a national postal outfit that is really big (too big to fail) and runs in the red financially and takes in 10 billion dollars a year in help (if you catch my drift) Psychochick drives a Jeep and wears a dark colored uniform (if that gives you a better picture of her going Postal)
Now this nut job moved out of her house years ago. Rented it out. Moves back in again and so on. Psychochick has two sons and a daughter (from a previous marriage and now a boyfriend we will call 'Minime" (her last boyfriend we called "Sasquatch" because he was big, tall and hairy.
Minime has piercings, and hoops through his ears, nose and maybe his cerebral cortex too.
Minime is a little dude with more metal in his face than the Terminator.

I had many run in's with Psychochick (most of them bad) I ran her off my property once already (about four years ago or so)

Now I used to know a 'Juggalo in a past life' (See or listen to a song by Insane Clown Posse called "What is a Juggalo)

This Juggalo had a beef with a rival who was a wise ass back in the mid-90's. The Juggalo came out of a bar one night (or so the story goes) and the Juggalo found the rivals car 'parked' with the windows open.
The Juggalo had to urinate really, really bad from all the beer he drank. The Juggalo did a really bad thing. The Juggalo urinated inside the car (true story)

On another incident about the same time frame. That same Juggalo had some evil college girls neighbors that lived upstairs. They kyed his car. That Juggalo got even.
He got drunk (or so he told me) and he went upstairs to their balcony where they kept a hammock (that was a main hangout on the porch) and urinated on the hammock in the middle of the night (not once, but several times)

What I am getting at is I still know where this Juggalo lives in South Texas. Just maybe I can get in contact with the Juggalo he will reappear (with a bladder full of beer) and maybe he will mark his territory once again.

(Kinda like that movie 'Wolf" when Jack Nicholson urinated on James Spader's leg in the mens room)


a classic movie scene.

20 comments:

  1. Well, CC. At least your life is not boring down there by the beach. It's too bad you got dragged into all this business. Seems like sometimes a person just can't help being on the event horizon and being sucked into the maelstrom, to be torn to atoms and dissipated across the universe.

    I know what a Jugalo is. Remember, I like a lot of Insane Clown Posse's music. I'm not one myself, of course.

    That was a good story. Too good to bury in the comments section so I set you up with a guest post. Makes for a good change from my standard fare here.

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    1. Hey Harry,

      (captaincrunch)


      There is a little more......

      Last night the Aspirin started to kick in when I was nearing the end of the story above and I was getting real tired and kind of loopy.

      I was next door with the Dad and two other neighbors in Dads backyard. Seems that we all felt sorry for Dad and his family and another neighbor came over with a Riding lawnmower and was mowing the lawn. I donated the gasoline for the riding lawnmower and was standing around for a moment when the mower was coming my way. I moved and walked several feet and accidently stepped into a hole. My upper body went forward. My bad knee went backwards, and I mean full backwards as in hyperextended and I feel over on the ground.

      That did not feel too good at all and that's putting in mildly.

      Its 0530 hrs. and I'm hobbling around like a drunken one legged horse at a midget kicking contest. I wont be standing up on any surfboards for a few days.

      Mission was accomplished and backyard was mowed. Another neighbor were there with weed eaters and other implements of 'mass grass destruction' with only one causualty, (captaincrunch) with a bad knee.

      Being in the pain Im in it is intensifying my burning hatred for Psychochick.
      There will be a reckoning. She will be 'shunned' in an otherwise close neighborhood. Psychochick will be a 'Pariah'

      I will have her (Psychochick) crushed and driven before me.

      (Stole that one from Conan The Barbarian)

      A witch in Colonial America would have more respect and admiration than that of 'Pyschochick"

      I will make no threats. I will make no violence. I will make no vandalism, however I will stare at her (Psychochick) with the burning hatred of a thousand suns. I will make her 'unconfortable' to say the least. The Psychological warfare is on.

      One thing I can say about 'Psycochick' she is not very intelligent. No higher cognitive thinking and certainly 'no third order of decision making' or Prescient abilities to determine outcomes of her actions multiple steps ahead.


      One final thing.....

      about ten months ago when 'Psychochick' moved out and about two months after Dad and his family moved in. A couple of different 'Rent to Own" national furniture outfits were coming by to collect late fee's or repo furniture.
      I will of course put in phone calls to thease outfits when 'Psychochick' moves back in next door. I will also give any intel to those businesses on her movements, days off from that national mail delivery entity as well to which facility 'Psychochick' works at.

      Which reminds me. The last time 'Psychochick' was living next door. She got a month off without pay for doing something wrong (its almost impossible to get fired from that organization thanks to the Union) I heard that she went through the same thing the second time last month and that added to her money woes.

      Psychochick invoked my good name into her web of lies and deceit against Dad and has family next door. Now its my turn for some serious payback. Only this time I will use concrete facts and truths to destroy her and her reputation and expedite her exit from this neighborhood.





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    2. I'd just let it go, and avoid her. You and I are a lot alike, in that we both feel compelled to settle old scores. But in this case, I'd just stay away from her and her doings. Being all wrapped around the axle will just make your blood pressure go up.

      You really do need to move out to the West Texas ranch you've been thinking about. You'll never escape entanglements as long as you live around people.

      If I had moved somewhere that I had to put up with that kind of thing when I got out of the Marines, I'd be doing life in prison right now, for murder.

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  2. Replies
    1. I like Texas and Texans. Sounds like a complicated existence in CC's little seaside town though.

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  3. This does sound like it could be part of a movie. The Psychochick sounds crazy!

    I hate being the middle man in crazy scenarios like this.

    We have 1 neighbor that has 2 kids that are autistic. Well 1 they are still testing. They invited us to their kid's birthday parties for 3 years. I think by the 3rd year they finally got the hint that we weren't going to go. Seriously we've never even been inside their house. Why would we go to their kid's birthday parties? Every time I drive down the street their big flat TV screen is on. The kids must watch TV 24/7. They hired someone to build them a swing set that NEVER gets used. They are never outside. I wonder why they bought this house that has a HUGE yard for a city? The 1 time they were outside their son was blowing dandy lion seeds everywhere. I said, "Oh there's now that many more weeds in your yard." I think she got the hint. Their daughter won't talk - she's 3 or 4. She has a dang pacifier in her mouth all the time. I wouldn't talk either if I had a plug in my mouth. I'd love to rip it out, and throw it in the trash can. They are Mexican, so they speak Spanish and English, but the kids struggle with talking. They don't watch what they eat. Pizza boxes are always towering their recycle bin. They park to get their mail everyday instead of walk down the driveway. Their trash and recycle bin stay on the street for days. Whenever they see us outside they say, "Oh I'd love to do all of what you guys do. We just don't have the time." Hummm...turn off your TV, and make time. It's all the little things you notice that add up to be really odd.

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    1. alissa apel,

      (captaincrunch)

      I did not volunteer to get involved. I got drafted!

      Psychochick used my name in her game of lies and deceit. What set me off is her using my name to say that I called her about the family next door (in her rent house) was dealing drugs, which of course never happened because the family next door is not dealing drugs.

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    2. Having to interact with people has to be the most challenging thing a human being can do.

      I don't care if a bear does gobble me up some day up here, I'll take the wild hogs , mountain lions, red wolves, bears, snakes and every other denizen of the forest over the nicest neighbors in the world any day.

      If I had neighbors like that, they'd catch me one day at the wrong moment, when I'd just seen something on tv that made me angry, or something else had set me off, and I'd lose my temper. That would be bad for me. Even if I controlled myself, I'd be sick for a week afterwards. I'm glad you and your husband are even keel kind of people who can cope with it.

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    3. I think you need to be careful with your characterization of those kids at least. Some of the behaviors you are seeing are no doubt cultural, but some autism kids have sensory issues which would explain the reluctance to perhaps go outside, or rather watch TV instead. You can't always control what these kids eat or don't eat. Some of these kids can't talk at all even though they try with great frustration to do so. Not excusing the parents behaviors, but the reality is that there are many autism families that can't do all the things that you can do in a day. Perhaps you are the only friendly? neighbor they have since nobody else wants to be around them. Just food for thought. --Troy

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    4. Troy

      Austism is rough. I had a cousin who taught autistic kids when I was living on Emerald Isle. She asked me if she could bring a particularly difficult boy, about 14, up to the beach for a weekend and I said yes.

      We bought him a kite and he flew it on the beach, seemed to having a good time all around.

      The first night there, he took a Samurai sword off the mantle, went out onto the wrap around deck, and cut the wall mounted air conditioner to small pieces. I got out there but I couldn't stop him without hurting him and by then it was too late to do much of anything. When he wore out he let her take the sword. I get what you are saying about sometimes not being able to control things.

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  4. I would be curious to know how the cap'n defines South Texas, as I live in south texas..about as far south as one can go.

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    1. Hey ExTexanwannabee,

      (captaincrunch)

      I live in South Texas. I keep things as general as possible so I don't give away my location. Harry had a problem some years back when some White Supremists figured out his location so I think he understands. I would like to give away some clues but I cant think of anything that's not on a map already or easily looked up on the internet.

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    2. Hey Extexanwannabe,

      (captaincrunch)

      I went to your blog. Cool blog. I can say this. I hate the Sarita Checkpoint. I wont eat Dorito's anymore either and there's a taco stand on just about every corner. The weather is hot, humid and all the snowbirds will lumbering down the roads at 55 MPH real soon clogging things up.

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    3. I know where CC lives, but that's something most people who blog are really, really careful about not disclosing. I was not as careful as I needed to be with my first blog and I learned the hard way. If you are as far South as a person can go in Texas, he's not right near you.

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    4. I think I get it...CC. We're not too far apart. I've been watchin' the snowdiggers come down now for over forty years. I remember when in September in the seventies it was really a long trip south of Alice because of the snowdiggers and their Airstreams.
      I used to be used to the heat and humidity..not any more. I am not quite as far south as one can get, but almost. Thanks for looking.

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  5. Hmmm, (captaincrunch), did, on or about xxxx hours, xxxx date, while on physical property located at XXXXX, said property belonging to Psychochick, injure himself by stepping into a hole on the improperly maintained property, causing injury and pain to said (captaincrunch), due to the failure of Psychochick to properly maintain and/or ensure the renters properly maintained the property to make it free from dangerous conditions.

    Small claims court = $10,000, possibly causing Psychochicks insurance to cancel, possibly causing Psychochick to go into even further financial distress and have to sell the property to someone else [(captaincrunch)?]. If you feel guilty for using the courts to sue another human being, you may feel free to send me half the award and give the other half to the good Mom&Dad next door. :)

    - Jumbo Jack

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    1. There you go, CC. Jumbo Jack has given you a legal bludgeon to smite your enemies with! ;-)

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  6. Good grief that is a lot of drama from one person. I would be very tempted to move rather than ensure that mess.

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    1. If I were all tangled up in that, I'd either have a stroke or go berserk and stack 'em up like cord wood.

      CC is more mellow.

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  7. Nothing like marking your territory!

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