The ants work hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long,
building their house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ants are fools, and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ants should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
The mainstream media shows up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ants
in their comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper
and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green…’
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where
the news stations film the Green Bug Lives Matter group singing, We shall overcome.
Then Rev. Jesse Jackson has the group kneel down to pray
for the grasshopper’s sake, while he damns the ants.
President Obama condemns the ants and blames George Bush, anti-Muslim sentiment, the Republicans and white males for the grasshopper’s plight.
Hillary Clinton & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King
that the ants have gotten rich off the back of the Grasshopper, and
both call for an immediate tax hike on the ants to make them pay their fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts The Economic Equity & Anti-Ant Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ants are fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of
culturally diverse bugs and, having nothing left to pay their retroactive taxes,
their home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends
finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house
he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house,
crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.
The ants have disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.