Friday, March 7, 2014
Tragedy at Walmart
My wife and I went out to dinner tonight. Afterwards, we stopped by Walmart. A morbidly obese woman had crashed her scooter into a huge pyramid of beer, and there were broken beer bottles and about an inch of beer all over the floor. I heard her telling the guy who had to clean it all up that "my scooter just swerved to the right, I don't know how."
I guarantee you this was some holy guerrilla warrior. We only got beer and wine sales in this county about two years ago, and the primitive baptist, holy roller, pentecostal, take up serpents crew is still not over it. So they hang out at the check out stand and then harass people buying beer and wine. Or, they do things like this. Sometimes they harass the wrong people and then you hear on the scanner where the ambulance is going out to pick them up in the Walmart parking lot. My understanding is that if you die giving someone crap for buying a six pack, you go to heaven and live in a beautiful house with a lovely garden and spend your days watching the sinners roast in hell. But this is only hearsay.
I guess afterwards she took her magic marker and went to the library, where she doubtless spent a happy hour or two putting black lines over words like "hell" and "damn" in the books. There is a huge sign on the wall in the library that says "Please don't censor the books." But doing right ain't got no end, you know.